I stumbled on some one I used to know and suddenly I can't shut my brain off. I see a vivid picture of a favorite childhood friend and very happy memories of playing chase in my front yard with the prize being a metal headband that had transformed, in our imaginations, into a golden crown; the one item that would make the winner of the chase the 6year old true ruler of an enchanted kingdom. I wonder if my friend remembers any of this, and as fondly.
Until I re-found this much adored person, I really had forgotten most of the happy times of my childhood. They were tucked deeply away in the no longer referenced section of my brain, until last week. All of my adult life I have easily and frequently thought about the trials and tribulations of coming through my tween and teen years. I have spent great amounts of energy trying to find smart ways to guide my kids through these times with more tools of confidence. But, perhaps I have worried so much about protecting them from the potential pains associated with the coming of age process, that I have ignored the potential for this to be the best time of their lives. Ah! A fresh bucket of water has been thrown upon me! Perfect timing...I shall now lighten up.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
I'm waxing again.
We've had the toughest time of it, as of yet, during this last business quarter. I'm afraid we've been doing a lot of sleepless fretting, hyperventilating and outright sobbing. It really sucks. But lately, oddly enough, there is a strange peace that has come over me. I am able to see, with more clarity than ever before, how very much I love my husband and my 3 beautiful children. I know those who are the most important to me, I can never loose...I'm speaking of the before mentioned people. They have always been the most prized aspect of my life, but this knowledge has become even more intense as we struggle to preserve the family business and to survive these trying economic conditions. The scarier things get, the louder this knowledge rings in my ears. Sometime its so loud it makes my head spin. I seem to hear a Heavenly voice in my ear saying, "Yeah, but...you have them," each time the sales numbers plummet.
I've learned a lot about my husband and myself through all of this. One of the things I've learned is that pride is poison. I've learned that one can be humble, grateful and proud at the same time; a conflicted way of being which sounds noble, but is maybe just a little egotistic (not to be confused with pompous) and typically not so productive. As a matter of fact, it can handcuff you at times. Another something I have figured out is what it means when my sister says,”We all have our own realities, and each of them is real." I understand that mine is mine and every one else's is their own and will be nothing like an other's. Read that over a few times to make that make since. Generally speaking, this is good to know. Am I speaking in tongues here?
We have a long way to go to get through these business blues. Thankfully, we have been blessed with some really caring friends who have ministered to us in their own individual ways and always at the most perfect times. They have made us feel sure that we are not alone and that we will always have them to turn to when we need them. I hope they know they can count on us in this way, too. Its always eye opening when you see people in your life appear or vanish during high and low tide.
And so, we'll do our best to stay focused and keep paddling out. Keep us in your prayers and positive visualizations. I'll keep trying to be funny and maybe these cold fronts will finally push far enough south to create some surf for David.
More later!
I've learned a lot about my husband and myself through all of this. One of the things I've learned is that pride is poison. I've learned that one can be humble, grateful and proud at the same time; a conflicted way of being which sounds noble, but is maybe just a little egotistic (not to be confused with pompous) and typically not so productive. As a matter of fact, it can handcuff you at times. Another something I have figured out is what it means when my sister says,”We all have our own realities, and each of them is real." I understand that mine is mine and every one else's is their own and will be nothing like an other's. Read that over a few times to make that make since. Generally speaking, this is good to know. Am I speaking in tongues here?
We have a long way to go to get through these business blues. Thankfully, we have been blessed with some really caring friends who have ministered to us in their own individual ways and always at the most perfect times. They have made us feel sure that we are not alone and that we will always have them to turn to when we need them. I hope they know they can count on us in this way, too. Its always eye opening when you see people in your life appear or vanish during high and low tide.
And so, we'll do our best to stay focused and keep paddling out. Keep us in your prayers and positive visualizations. I'll keep trying to be funny and maybe these cold fronts will finally push far enough south to create some surf for David.
More later!
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